In Your Absence
by Shavon Black
Summary: Novinha Shepard meets Kaidan again after two years, after defending the Horizon colony from a Collector attack. Kaidan's side of the story as Shepard recruits "the best" from around the galaxy.
1. Misunderstanding

_A/N: This is a reunion scene between Commander Novinha Shepard and Kaidan Alenko, during Mass Effect 2. They have not seen each other in two years. Major Spoiler warning, if you do not want to be spoiled about Mass Effect 2, then please don't read until after you have played the game. Please review, I'm always looking for feedback. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it!_

A final Collector fell, the yellow glow of its eyes faded to a dull, ochre color, indicating its death. The last shot it fired into Shepard's knee struck true. She immediately applied pressure directly onto her kneecap where the shot ripped a gash three inches long. Peeling back the armor that clung painfully to the wounded area, she swabbed it with medi-gel, grimacing slightly, and replaced the kneepad. Testing her left leg on the ground, Shepard found she was able to put full force on her leg, despite the pain, which had dulled significantly.

Shepard's breathing had returned to normal. She retied her short ponytail, gathering the few strands of dark red hair that came loose in the fray. She strode over to where Tali stood, studying the husks that used to be human.

"Shepard. These husks are much stronger than the husks the geth created," Tali sighed. "This situation is bad."

"Not to mention smarter, faster and tactical. The Collector's must have based them off of the geth husks," Novinha Shepard's tone was grim.

"C'mon, let's see if we can find any survi-"

"Shepard! We've got another one!" Garrus' voice called out. Shepard immediately readied her weapon, turning around and spotted a giant Collector that looked like a cross between a jellyfish and a squid. It hovered over the area, rotating towards Shepard and Tali, revealing six yellow glowing eyes, and a mouth full of husks. It seemed like several Collectors were gathered together into one massive being. The Massive Collector fired a steady string of a plasma-like substance, ripping right through the two women's shields.

Shepard uttered a low oath, sprinting behind a large army green storage container, conveniently placed. She cocked her shotgun.

"Tali, flank this sucker, see if you can bring it's shields down!"

"On it, Commander!" The Quarian dashed off towards the other side of the storage container, using her Cipher tool to jam the enemy's shields. Garrus, meanwhile began sniping from behind the massive Collector, hidden among the sheds.

Shepard fired a couple of cryo-rounds into the Collector's face, while Tali fired away with a heavy pistol.

"Shepard, you cannot fight evolution! If necessary, I will destroy you," The deep voice rumbled, hovering closer towards where Tali and Shepard were.

Ignoring the voice, Shepard unleashed a mass of biotic energy, pushing the creature back wards a bit. It was barely more than a nudge. _Damn it_, she thought to herself. Tali took the opportunity to jam its shields again. The Collector fired back at Tali, who had begun ceaselessly firing a pistol at its unprotected side. The Collector then re-shielded, blasting Tali full on with a wave of plasma, bringing her temporarily down.

Shepard tore to the right, unleashing a biotic warp field, and fired a few more rounds into the Collector's middle section. It refocused, and unleashed a devastating blast, catching Shepard's left arm, burning right through her shields and part of the armor.

Shepard ducked behind a stack of tires, breathing heavily. She biotically charged, zipping over to the other side of the open area, re-shielding and gaining better cover and a more apt position to fire. Taking out her pistol this time, she fired away.

Tali, meanwhile rose, also firing, reloading, firing. The Collector paused, weakened from the attack. It's gaping mouth widened, and four husks dropped down from inside, one charging straight at Tali, the other three converging on Shepard.

Garrus took one down with the sniper fire, and resumes targeting the huge Collector. The one charging Tali caught her off guard, but soon went down. Shepard threw on of the husks into the air, rushing backwards, shooting it, until it fell lifelessly on the ground. The other husk grasped at her, it's corpse-like hand ripping at her throat. Shepard shoved the husk to the ground, and fired a few shots into its head.

Meanwhile the Collector had blasted Tali to the ground, where she lay motionless. Garrus jammed the huge enemy's shields, and between Shepard and Garrus, the two whittled away at the remaining health left in the jellyfish-like creature. Stepping out from behind another container, Shepard switched to her shotgun, and pummeled in with a few final rounds. The Collector gave a final shudder, collapsing to the ground, the light in it's eyes fading out.

It was over.

A loud, screeching noise drew Shepard's attention to the sky, while Garrus rushed over to where Tali lay, helping her up, and giving her some desperately needed aid. The tower-like Collector ship slowly ascended, departing the atmosphere of the colony.

A surge of urgency washed over Shepard, but she knew it was pointless to pursue that ship. Still, the sense of failure gnawed at her. If she had been quicker . . .

An angry voice tore through her thoughts. "You-you can't just let that ship leave! The entire colony is on that ship!" The mechanic Shepard, Tali and Garrus came across earlier, rushed over to her, his face twisted in shocked rage.

"What are you waiting for? Go after them!" he shouted right in her face.

"There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry. We did all we could for this colony. They'll be gone by the time my ship catches up to them," Shepard apologized.

"Alliance," the mechanic spat bitterly. "How did I know we couldn't trust them. There was a command unit here to protect us, and they did _nothing_," he shouted this last word.

"I'm not with the Alliance," Shepard snapped.

"Commander Alenko did nothing, no point in them being here." The mechanic shook his head, the anguish clear in his eyes, anguish Novinha Shepard knew too well. She swallowed hard.

"Alenko?" Shepard's thoughts rushed to Kaidan, a warm, happy feeling flooded her chest. "Did you just say Commander Alenko? Where is he?"

Garrus and Tali walked over to where Shepard and the mechanic stood.

"Shepard, we should return to the ship," Garrus said. "There's nothing more we can do here."

The mechanic scrutinized Shepard's face. "Shepard? Wait, I know you. You're the one who saved the Citadel two years back. I thought you were dead."

"Commander Shepard," A figure emerged from the shadows behind them, a familiar husky, melodic voice, gripping Shepard with a happiness she had not felt since waking up,

"N7 officer. First Human Spectre. Novinha Shepard, it really is you," Kaidan strode up to her, ignoring everyone else. He walked right up to her, his face inches from hers, taking that face he hadn't seen in two years in his hands. He kissed her softly, and embraced her for a long moment. Stepping back, he released her.

"I heard rumors, and wanted to believe they were true. Cerberus. They revived you?"

"Yes, Kaidan. They have. We're working to figure out what's happening with the human colonies. The Collectors-"

"Wait, Novinha," Kaidan held up his hands, "you're working with Cerberus?"

"Yes, I am. We're trying to uncover the reason why the Collectors are targeting humanity-"

"You can do that with the Alliance. Why are you, of all people, working with _them?_" Kaidan stepped back, in angry disbelief. He had never given Shepard that look before.

Shepard swallowed, not knowing what to say, or how to explain this unlikely partnership.

"I didn't really have a choice. The Alliance, the Council would work too slowly if I worked with them to find out what's happening. Cerberus is able to work behind the scenes. With them I'm able to do this as quickly as possible."

"I know the Council didn't listen to you about Saren, but things are different now, they would listen to you. You would be able to do this work the right way. How could you work with that hate group, after what they did to your unit on Akuze? After what they did to Admiral Kahoku? You, of all people, Shepard, should know better," he hadn't called her Shepard in a long time. Reverting back to calling her by her last name stung. His angry expression stung. She knew Kaidan could be very stubborn. It was something she admired very much about him, but now it placed a wall ten thousand feet high between them.

Shepard was resigned, "What's done is done. I can't work for the Council at this point. We're too close to closing in on this."

"I can't believe this," he muttered, backing away further. "I thought I knew you. I'm Alliance through and through, and I thought you were, too. Guess I was wrong."

Tears stung Shepard's eyes, "Humanity needs this. I'm not going to trade our survival in for a set of principles that would get us nowhere."

"See you Shepard. Take care of yourself," Kaidan's eyes briefly softened, revealing how much he missed her, but quickly resumed it's steeliness. He walked away. Novinha Shepard stared at his retreating back, feeling betrayed.

"Shepard," Tali said softly, "Let's go." The Quarian placed a comforting hand on Shepard's shoulder, the three walked back to the ship. There was nothing Novinha could do about it now, but if she returned from the Omega-4 relay, TIM would have it, right before Kaidan would.


	2. I Keep Going

A/N: This will be short, but I've decided to continue the story. Any feedback is welcome.

Novinha new how to survive. Raised on a colony by her parents taught her self-reliance, resourcefulness, pragmatism, how to take life at it's toughest moments. She was especially quick-witted as a girl. Early on her father recognized leadership qualities in her that inspire people to follow out of admiration and respect. So as soon as she was old enough, perhaps too early, responsibilities were placed on Lawrence Shepard's daughter. Reasonable enough for her age, but rare, even for a space frontier family.

By the time Novinha reached thirteen years of age, she acted as second in command when her father was absent from the farm. She helped make decisions, delegated responsibilities to the farm workers, and was generally respected by all the members of the community. She was wise beyond her years, practical and very strong.

After the Batarian slavers destroyed the colony, these qualities sunk below a mask of grief and fear, hiding behind a broken visage. The Alliance soldiers who cleaned the mess up on the colony, took her and a few other survivors who were minors, to a school where military brats lived while their parents served. Novinha was out of place for the first time in her life. She completed basic studies, took a year at the university on the Citadel, trying several majors before enlisting in the military.

Her penchant for survival quickly gained notice, and her prized leadership qualities returned. She quickly rose through the ranks, gained even more notice from her service on Akuze, eventually becoming a Specter.

Everyone she worked with, over and under saw a strong brave woman. Most wondered if she had any emotional scars, and if they would ever surface. They always ended up writing her off as heartless, not in an ice queen way, but it confused the people she allowed close that pain never seemed to touch her. Her pain for threshold awed even the military psychiatrists who examined her.

They didn't realize she became very good at hiding emotions. Or that she suffered from severe panic attacks.

Novinha grew very close with her squad on Akuze. She lost them. She grew close with her squad while chasing Saren, expecting to lose them at any moment, but eventually let a few in her heart, anyway. She knew allowing them to grow close was foolish, but she didn't care. She knew that for humans to survive, they needed relationships.

She didn't count on growing close enough to Kaidan Alenko, that they would be sharing the captains quarters every night for a month. She didn't expect him to coldly reject her based on her reluctant ties to Cerberus. She expected him to understand, even if not to follow. She didn't expect that it would hurt this much.

A familiar, raw hardening returned, covering her heart like a biotic barrier. Despite Tali's and Garrus' attempts to comfort her, the wall stayed put, firmly in place. Garrus even joined his friend in her quarters, for an evening of shooting the shit. They played a popular Turian card game, and talked about old times, avoiding the issue of Kaidan.

Novinha appreciated it. But it didn't help.

She sat in her quarters, reviewing the two dossiers on the Asari Justicar and the Assassin. Her eyes flickered over to Kaidan's picture, framed in a simple design in wood. They took so many pictures together, in the short month after the attack on the Citadel. This particular photo came from a Cerberus database on high-ranking officers in the Alliance. She was not sure who placed the picture on her desk, but was grateful just the same. However, any other picture would have been better, especially now. In this photo, Kaidan looked disturbed, almost angry, the exact same expression to mar his face when the word 'Cerberus' dropped from her lips.

Kelly's voice punched through her thoughts over the intercom. "Commander, we will be arriving on Illium in five minutes."

Novinha readied herself for the arrival. Two more reunions were about to take place. Miranda was going to meet with her twin sister. Novinha needed to speak with Liara on the whereabouts of their two targets. If she had time, perhaps they could catch up some. She just hoped it would be more pleasant than the 'catch-up' on Horizon.

Novinha, Miranda and Garrus exited the Normandy 2, and were immediately greeted by a pleasant sunshine and an Asari greeter.

Illium's spaceport was bustling with activity. All species, even a few Batarians were represented, whether frequenting the local bars, selling and buying at the various kiosks, or other activities. The place was full, but not unpleasantly crowded. In some ways, it reminded Novinha of the Citadel, although nowhere near as empty.

"Miranda, where is your contact?" Novinha asked.

Miranda, who usually stood tall, proud and confident, twitched nervously. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Lanetia told us to meet her in the Eternity bar. We should talk to Liara T'soni first, however. The mission should take priority, Shepard."

Miranda didn't believe her words, and neither did Novinha, "I said I'd help you rescue your sister. We'll go to Eternity first."

"Thank you, Commander," Miranda's tone was relieved. She flashed a grateful smile at Novinha, and led them to the bar. Once inside, Miranda headed into one of the back rooms, where an Asari stood, expecting them. Novinha didn't even realize she was following another's lead. She kept thinking back to the unpleasant meeting with Kaidan, and wondered if he was thinking of her.

Garrus was surprised by this lapse of attention in Shepard, but said nothing. He watched her with concern as they took a public transport to the warehouse where an old friend of Miranda's would be. He gazed at his best friend, waiting for her to 'wake up'. Shepard continued to passively stare out the window, allowing Miranda to lead them.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Garrus murmured. "Come back to us," he nudged her on the back.

"Don't, I'm fine." Novinha snapped back at Garrus. That served as the wake up she needed. Garrus was immensely relieved that Miranda seemed too distracted by the task at hand to witness this momentary weakness.

Day one on Illium: another emotional toll, a happier reunion, and a new friend. Garrus never thought he'd see Shepard and Miranda bond, nor that he'd be forced to go shopping with them afterwards.

Human women were more confusing than Turian ones.


	3. Recruiting the Assassin

A/N: There's still no fanfics of Thane after days of waiting, so hopefully more will follow after this oneJ. This will not be a romance fic, but it's designed to relive my favorite recruitment mission since the E3 reveal from last summer.

_Eyes closed. Breathe in. Breathe out. Slowly regain yourself. Will the tension out of your body. _Novinha Shepard gently talked down her muscles, knotted with stress. She woke up curled into a ball on one side of her bed. The images of destruction the Prothean beacon had seared into her mind two years ago occasionally visited her in dreams. This dream was particularly vivid, and different. The Protheans were not victims of slaughter this time. Rather, Protheans _slaughtered._ Humans. Novinha stood by her parents, while the Protheans slaughtered everyone around them. She was a teenage girl again, hiding in a locked storage unit cramped into the same position she woke up in.

Novinha was no longer on the farm she grew up in. There were no more Protheans. No more dying family and friends. Just a nightmare. Out of all the corrections Miranda had made to Shepard's previously dead body the one thing the Lazarus Project failed to correct, despite other 'upgrades', was the dreams.

The soft, blue glow of the fish tank filled her vision, had a calming effect. The low hum of the oxygen pumped throughout the tank lulled her nerves into a more tolerable state. Once the panic passed, Novinha gradually uncurled herself, feeling the tension relieve itself down her spine as she stretched out.

The last time she had a nightmare this intense; Kaidan was by her side, making it much easier to bounce back. Instead, she had a fishtank. At this point, it was the preferable of the two. The fish didn't care who she worked for, so long as they were fed, they were happy.

Day 2 on Illium. Yesterday Miranda saved her sister from being snatched from her family, a 'twin' sixteen years younger. It was the first time the ice queen had brought down her walls in front of Shepard. Novinha began to wonder if her heart even beat. After the ordeal, Shepard decided to call it a day for the crew. No use attempting to look for a Justicar or an assassin while being so emotionally spent. Horizon happened a few days ago, however, and that excuse no longer held any water. The two women spent an hour among the shops in the markets, 'officially' shopping for possible upgrades. Instead, Miranda found a new armor suit. Novhina found a Serrice amp very similar to the one she had bought for Kiadan on the Citadel. Perhaps the expensive purchase was a bit silly, over-sentimental, even. Shepard was a biotic now, thanks to the Project, so her purchase was justifiable enough.

Garrus looked on in boredom. Apparently makes of all species did not care for shopping. Or maybe he was itching to return to calibrating whatever it was he spent working on all day.

The second meeting with Liara was odd. She seemed stressed, and angry. Hacking a few terminals for her old friend was more time-consuming than Novinha had intended. It was already the afternoon of their second day on the Asari colony world, and there was still much to do.

Liara had just received 'information', her new favorite word, that the Assassin, Thane Krios had made an appearance in the city, in the corporate sector. His contact was a young Asari maiden named Seryna. Seryna is where Novinha, Miranda and Garrus headed to, as soon as they heard the tip.

In Shipping Cargo, a dark, violet Asari sat behind a desk, bent over a datapad, furiously inputting data. Novinha stepped forward, calling the young woman by the name Liara had given her.

"Who wants to know?" The Asari never looked up, but continued working, her fingers flying rapidly over the keypad.

"I'm looking for Thane Krios. I need him for a mission," Novinha bent forward, lowering her head closely toward Seryna. She spoke this loud enough for only the Asari and her two companions to hear.

This elicited the reaction Novinha hoped for. Seryna's eyes widened in surprise briefly, but kept her poise. She looked up at the two armed women, accompanied by a badly scarred Turian, and knew instantly this trio meant business. She rose, and lead them to the other side of the area, where they would not be overheard.

"I know Krios. He's going to carry out a hit on Nassana Dantius. I didn't hire him, but I did serve as his contact for the hit," Seryna spoke softly.

"Dantius? That name sounds familiar . . ." Novinha paused, racking her brains for any relevant information.

"Shepard, we killed an Asari diplomat's sister by that name, if you recall," Garrus reminded.

Novinha nodded, remembering the strange encounter. That is how she obtained the Serrice amp, not the one currently attached to her neck base, but similar.

"Wow, I thought that was just a rumor," Seryna mused, "You've clearly been around. Listen, Krios won't attempt the hit until nightfall. If you wait a few hours, I can take you to the Dantius towers myself. Meet him there. It's your best bet at catching him before he disappears, which he is very good at."

"Alright, we'll meet you back here at nightfall," Novinha said.

A few hours later, the three rode with Seryna across the city, to the east corporate district. Two, colossal towers came into view. They stood stories above every other build in the immediate area, a testament to the power and wealth behind the Dantius name on Illium. She was clearly a very powerful woman.

"I'm not Nassana's biggest fan or anything, but why does someone want her dead?" Novinha asked out of curiosity.

"You know how she is towards her own sister. She's ruthless. Plenty of people have wanted her dead long before now. It's about time, I say. I even worked for her myself, until I confronted her with some of the corrupt practices she allowed in the company. That's when the bitch fired me. I have no problem helping an assassin out, after seeing what she does," Seryna turned on to another traffic path that circled around the first of the two towers. "You're best bet is to go through the first tower. It's completely clears, save a few of the night work crew. Krios is most likely making his way through there, before sneaking up to Nassana's penthouse. That's where she'll be."

"Why don't we go there directly?" Novinha asked. Surely the best way was to go directly.

Seryna shook her head, "You could try, but Nassana's men will be expecting it. You won't get far before they blow everything in sight. It's better to make way through the first tower. Besides, you shouldn't have too much trouble in there; it's mostly clear since they've begun renovations."

She paused, and turned towards Shepard, "So, are you planning to stop him?"

"No, my job is to find him. If that means he gets to Nassana first, I don't really care," Novinha replied.

The transport car slowed, curving around the front of the tower. Seryna pulled over, up close to the main doors. "Good luck, Shepard," she pushed a button, and the doors to the car opened Delorian-style, Garrus and Miranda hopping out from the back seat. Novinha, exited, turned around and quickly thanked Seryna, before heading through the large, glass doors.

The entrance was silent. Large tarps covered gutted walls. A stray ladder was propped up against the far wall. In the corner to left, stacked in a haphazard pile were buckets and crates of maintenance supplies. On the right side of the main room, they passed through a door, leading them to a stairway. Once at the top, a few mercs spotted them, but they were no match for the three. They crossed a large room, and entered a hallway, the right wall solid glass, looking over a breathtaking view of the city. If time were more flexible, Novinha would have loved to watch the traffic go by, and take in the view. She did pause for a second; it was soon interrupted by a soft sound of movement through the ceiling. Novinha examined the tiny vent above her cautiously. She thought she saw a flash of movement, but ignored this, and decided to move on.

At the end of the hall, a small room led into another open chamber, with doors leading off the sides to other rooms and hallways. Surveying the area, Shepard gauged which direction would most likely lead to an elevator, or another means to the upper floors. Suddenly, quiet sounds of a struggle ensued above, through the ceiling. Just as suddenly as it had come, all went silent. A clumsy crash, and the lifeless body of a blue Suns merc plummeted to the ground, missing Novinha by a hair.

"Shit," she swore, hopping out of the way. Another time, and it may have been amusing.

Novinha tried the first locked door to the left. After hacking through the door's basic security precaution, she opened it to find a couple scared Salarians, who were locked in, yet unharmed. After gathering that the assassin locked them in, _for protection_, Shepard let the two through to safety.

Through another room, clearing another hallway full of Nassana's security and they found an elevator. He three positioned themselves into cover, as they waited for the doors to open. A pair of dog bots shot out the moment the doors opened, followed by two guards and a krogan. The three effortlessly ambushed the unfortunate group, and took the elevator to the top floor.

Another hallway, and open large room cleared of unfortunate guards, and a second closet with a couple of shaken Salarians locked inside later, and Shepard made it to the bridge.

The wind was howling, violently flapping unsecured tarp slapped the ground. He team took out a bunch of guards, it seemed as if they were concentrated on the roof.

"Why did I hire you idiots? He's obviously traveling though the vents. Find him and stop him and his men!" Nassana's voice carried through an intercom and wind.

"Vents?" Garrus shouted from cover, right in Shepard's ear. "That explains the funny noises, at least." He peered back into his sniper, and took out the last obstacle to the stairway that led up to the penthouse. He three pressed on, up the stairs, took down an Asari commando, who was desperately guarding an elevator.

"This must be it. Hope we make it in time," Miranda said. The three took the elevator up to the Penthouse.

The elevator door opened. Nassana stood among multiple guards, all trained their guns and attention on Shepard, Garrus and Miranda. Novinha calmly walked forward, saying the Asari's name.

"Shepard, but, you're dead," Nassana immediately recognized the Specter. "Hold your fire, she snapped at a nervous guard next to her. "Before you do what you came for, tell me, why? Who hired you?" A familiar rumbling sound indicated that the Assassin was above Shepard, for the third time. Deciding to keep her distracted, Novinha decided to play along with Nassana.

"I'm not an assassin, Nassana. But I am looking for one," she replied coolly. One of Nassana's personal guard twitched nervously, noticing the noise above. Distracted, Nassana asked, "What do you mean, you're not an assassin? You destroy most of my security, my men, for what, to taunt me? What are you playing at?"

The guard attempted to interject her warning, but Novinha cut her off, "Oh, they'll be an assassination, alright. I won't stop it."

Confused, Nassana angrily asked what Shepard meant by this cryptic statement. The personal guard interrupted with her warning, and Nassana sent her to the wrong side of the apartment. A couple other guards followed, to check another entrance.

Nassana launched into another question. Novinha continued to stare the Asari diplomat down. Behind her and the remaining guards, a lithe, gracefull green figure dropped from the vents. A neck snap here, a punch in the throat there, one by one, the guards dropped like flies, before Krios turned to Nassana, firing two deadly shots into her abdomen.

Thane placed her body gently over her desk, as if he were laying an infant down for a nap, cradling her head gently down. He bent his head in a religious fashion, his hands folded in prayer-style.

Novinha watched for a few moments, before speaking. "I was kinda hoping to talk to you, Thane," she said patiently.

His low voice rumbled, like a pur, "Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken. Novinha and Garrus exchanged bemused looks before Novinha continued. "OK, you go ahead, but I don't think that will help where she's going."

Thane finished his prayers, and shook his head at Shepard, "Those prayers were not for her. They were for me."

"For you, what did you do?" Novinha asked curiously.

"The measure of an individual cannot be discerned by actions alone. Take you, for instance. You slaughter multiple floors of guards just to find one person. I was wondering what it would take for you to reach me. Well, here I am." The drell's gaze turned up to Shepard, as if sizing her up, but not quite judging her. He looked expectantly.

"Wait, you knew I was looking for you? Why didn't you just appear, so I wouldn't have to wade through all of that crap?" Novinha was a little frustrated by this new piece of information.

"I didn't know until you were on the first floor of the building. You provided a valuable distraction, making my job easier," Thane explained.

"Yes, because that is why I wasted two hours fighting through this shit, to help you out on your assassination, " Novinha said sarcastically. Her nostrils flared in anger. Putting it aside, she asked him what she came for, "I'm here to ask you if you will join me on a mission. Human colonies are disappearing, and I'm looking for specialists to help out."

"Who are you after, exactly?" the Drell asked.

"The Collectors." Novinha put it so bluntly; at first she thought he would immediately turn them down. Instead, Thane let out a slow sigh, turned around, and gazed into the sun.

"The Collectors. Ah, yes." He let out another sigh, pondering the situation. Then, he added as an afterthought, "This was to be my last job."

He turned around, and gazed hard at Shepard. "I assume you will be traveling through the Omega-4 relay at some point. No one who traveled through there has ever returned," he stated.

"I'm not going to lie, his is a suicide mission," Novinha said. "Are you in, or am I wasting my time here?"

"The suicide part does not deter me," Thane paused before admitting that he was dying. "The loss of innocents does concern me, however. I will join you, Shepard." He walked up to Novinha and extended his hand. She took it and shook it in response. "Welcome to the team, Thane."

A/N: Well, most of this is based off of gameplay, obviously. I apologize for any butchered quotes. Please review; I would like to know if there is anything that needs improving. Hope you enjoyed the story!

"


	4. Kaidan

A/N: I've finally got in my head what Kaidan's side of the story could be. We know our individual Shepard's reaction. This is part of Kaidan's reaction, and a little flashback of their past together. Sorry, no Thane and Garrus in this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kaidan, Shepard or the Mass Effect Universe, but Bioware does

"Lilith was among the taken, Commander," the Lt. Commander Jacobs reported. He was one of the lucky few to make it to the safe house. A third of the colony was lost to the Collectors, and roughly half of Alenko's crew. More losses. More key people gone. At least the Alliance would now know the correct source. Kaidan was relieved that Cerberus was not behind it, but a selfish part of him wanted to blame the pro-human terrorist organization anyway. Higher reasoning demanded of him to acknowledge not everything Cerberus did was evil. After all, Novinha Shepard lived because of them, and they did prevent the entire colony from being taken.

Commander Alenko nodded at Jacobs, who saluted his superior officer. The young blond was shaken, ashen faced from the few hours of stasis. Jacobs left to aid the remaining of the stasis-bound crew members. After all, Dr. Phelps couldn't do it all on her own.

"_I didn't really have a choice. The Alliance, the Council would work too slowly if I worked with them to find out what's happening. Cerberus is able to work behind the scenes. With them I'm able to do this as quickly as possible."_

Kaidan saw Novinha's face, her words echoed through his mind. Cerberus. She teamed up with Cerberus. When they had worked together, Kaidan once advised her to not take shortcuts. Ironically, the crew pursuing Saren ended up doing that anyway, when the proper channels were blocked. In a rare moment of grey morality, the right thing to do was to mutiny, assault the human ambassador, and go rogue with the entire crew of Alliance personnel. It was the most frightening yet exhilarating moment of Kaidan's life. Working with Cerberus, however, was not the same thing. A small part of him, wanted to trust Shepard, despite higher reasoning. Instincts told him she would be okay.

* * *

Kaidan filed the report, forwarding it to Anderson. The barracks housing his crew also contained his private quarters, and an office with a comm. terminal. He leaned back in his desk chair, stretching. A migraine was forming slowly at his temples. No amount of rubbing helped, but this habit formed years ago. His hand stretched across his forehead, thumb rotating clockwise around his left temple, his middle finger pressing sharply into his right. Deep breaths, Kaidan prepared for the next few hours of oncoming pain.

Kaidan leaned forward, pulled out the top left drawer of his desk. Under a few spare data pads, and other random items, he picked up a frame containing three digital photos. The first photo was of Novinha, shortly after the attack on the Citadel. The two took a couple of days for themselves, in a hot vacation spot back on earth. Kaidan had snapped the picture while she just woken up from a long, restful sleep. Her eyes were puffy, but glowed with a relaxed quality Kaidan rarely saw in his tough commander. A gentle smile graced her lips. Her demeanor was so peaceful, Kaidan wondered if he's see such days again. Those two days were perhaps the only time Kaidan ever saw Novinha so serene.

The second photo contained the two of them. Her hair was down, flowing around her shoulders. She has long, reddish-brown, thick hair then, not the metallic auburn he saw earlier. In this picture, she was smiling, planting a kiss on Kaidan's cheek. His hands covered part of her face. The third picture replaced the second. In this one, Novinha was sleeping, again looking rarely serene.

Kaidan watched the three photos loop until a knock disturbed him out of his reverie. He quickly flipped the photo over, knowing who was at the door. It was Dr. Phelps.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Commander," Lillian Phelps soft, girlish voice spoke tentatively. She stopped in the doorway, looking at her Commander with concern.

Kaidan straightened, swiveling around in his chair. The short, dark-haired doctor gave him a concerned look. Her dark eyes perceived his mind was occupied, and waited for him to speak. She always waited for him, patiently, never asserting herself or her will. She was the complete opposite of Shepard in every way, something Kaidan both loved and hated. Her meekness especially angered him. He wished she would leave him alone, even though her only intention was to check up on him.

"Did you need something, Lil?" Kaidan asked shortly. This was a very awkward moment for her to appear.

"I see you have a migraine coming on. If you want the medication, just let me know," the doctor paused. "How are you doing? I heard Shepard," she swallowed nervously, "was here." The doctor looked down. It was none of her business, but she had to know. She and Kaidan were very friendly, but if it was true his former love was here, well, she couldn't compete with that. Unless . . .

"No medication needed. I'll be fine." Kaidan allowed an awkward pause. They were too much alike, he told himself. He should be more clear with her, but it was nice that someone cared for him t e way he once cared for Shepard, even if he didn't return those feelings. Kaidan was not the kind of man to lead a woman on, but he hardened considerably after Shepard's death. Disappearence. It was selfish. It was not moving on. She was a distraction.

"Shepard was here, yes. In fact, the whole colony would have been taken, were it not for her intervention."

"Is it true she's willingly working for Cerberus? What will the Alliance do?" Lillian asked.

"Apparently she's already been restored to her Specter status, so, nothing. And yes, she's willingly working for Cerberus. Why? I don't know." He sighed. Looking at her, he saw more than concern in her eyes. Would it be kinder to ignore what he perceived there, or just tell her there was nothing there? Perhaps he would wait for her to bring it up. If she ever did.

"How was it for you, seeing –seeing her?" Lillian poked for his true reaction. She wanted to know, but was afraid to ask. Kaidan was a reserved man, she knew. Very strict with regs. They had a few nights of fun off-duty, and she thought there was something more, but it was hard to tell with Kaidan. He was so different on-duty than off.

"Difficult. I served under her for a year. I watched her die. Watched her become a hero. I don't know what to make of her appearance, honestly," Kaidan leaned forward a bit, the beginnings of painful throbs lightly pounding. He placed his hand on his head again.

"I need to rest, Lil. Maybe come back later?"

Lillian nodded. She hadn't found her answer. She ignored her confusion, patted Kaidan lightly on the arm, and walked out of the room. Kaidan laid down on his bed, thinking of Novinha, forgetting Lillian before she even exited the room. The onset of the migraine intensified, making sleep arrive slowly. His dreams were full of Novinha, his subconsciously kindly forgetting her absence for a few hours.

A/N: Please review I've been suffering a mental block, wondering where to go with this. Also, the semester has been pretty heavy with school work, but I hope to get the next chapter up sooner. Anyway, hope you enjoy it.


	5. Emails

A/N: I was getting stuck with where this was headed, but it seems to have worked it's way out. Special things included: A set-up for the glorious break-up we all want to see: Kaidan dumping the Doctor he was seeing casually from the Citadel, and also mentioning one of my favorite Easter Eggs of all time, Jeirt the Salarian!

Kaidan awoke several hours later, hazy vision, refusing to clear away. Rapid blinking did not quicken the pace his eyes attempted to adjust to the bright light of the makeshift office. He fell asleep with the light on, indicating the migraine medicine succeeded quickly in triggering sleep. Unusual, for the low dosage Fr. Phelps prescribed only took off the edge. His anger and anxiety towards Shepard succumbed to peace, as he watched their vacation pictures, and reminisced on the night before Ilos. The solace both found in each other proved to be powerful, and forged an unshakeable, already emerging bond between Commander and Staff Lt.

What did this mean now? She was alive, briefly in his arms.

Impulsivity. That particular symptom of human nature rarely took over Kaidan's better judgment. When he heard Cerberus, saw their logo on his Novinha's armor, his anger rose sharply, pouring his disappointment out in a flurry of words that separated them. But wasn't it Novinha's actions which pulled them apart? How could he do this to her? To them? Were they a 'them' anymore? An 'us'?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Were Kaidan a drinking man, he'd be knocking back a few drinks before now. Fortunately, he had learned how that got him into trouble. Dr. Phelps. Lillian.

Status report was in. Kaidan and the remaining of his crew, those who survived, would be reporting back to the Citadel first thing in the morning. Once the protocols were met, his meeting with Anderson over-with, two personal matters must be dealt with. An e-mail to one woman, and a clarification with another. This would not be an easy next couple of days.

Back on the Normandy . . . . . . . . . . . .

'You have new messages waiting for you at your private terminal, Commander." The red-haired, cheerful Yeoman chimed brightly as Novinha Shepard exited the elevator. Brushing a wayward strand back from her face, the Commander nodded in acknowledgment to the Yeoman's intel, strode over to the terminal. Three new messages. This first was a very sweet thank you from Oriana, Miranda's 'genetic twin'. Novinha smiled as she read the heart-warming message, especially so as she read the last line, which was directed specifically to Miranda. Not that Oriana's older sister would heed the reprimand against reading all of Shepard's incoming messages, but it was pleasant to know that someone cared for Novinha's privacy, even if she had not met the girl herself. It was also encouraging to gleam a hint of Miranda's growing respect for Shepard. Stopping short at being a true friend, Novinha's second in command was slowly becoming the girl-friend Shepard never had. Similar to Ash, in a way.

Novinha flicked the screen with her index finger, scrolling to the next message. Titled, "You Changed My Life," Novinha was briefly reminded of the young man on Omega, who bore a strong resemblance to Jenkins. Contained within the e-mail was an enthusiastic message from one of the Salarian maintenance workers Shepard encountered while in the Dantius Towers. The young Salarian apparently had an adorable fascination for the way Thane moved, rescuing the innocents, as he took care of the mercs who had the misfortune to get in his way. Novinha could only imagine how the drell stealthily moved through both towers, traveling in and out of vents, saving innocents when he could. It intrigued her.

Jeirt requested Shepard to share with Thane what she thought appropriate of this message. Downloading the message to her omni-tool, she decided to inform Miranda and Thane directly of her intentions to bring them along for the recruitment of the Justicar, Samara. She needed to speak with the drell anyway.

Before leaving, however, Novinha scrolled to the final e-mail, sobering up her mood a bit. "About Horizon," reading those words fixed a small not of anxiety in her stomach. Kaidan. Should she deal with this later, or now? Novinha bit her lip, The Illusive Man's unwarranted advice came to mind. "Your past relationships are better left behind, lest it effect the mission," The Illusive Man ashed his cigarette, tilting his head intently, his cybernetic eyes glowing, boring holes into her. . .

This was her decision. For now, the Illusive Man was right. Novinha would deal with the private message later. Better to read it with a clear mind, and certainly not before recruitment. Each recruitment so far met with trouble, combat, or some hitch. Perhaps this would not be so with the Justicar, but to be safe, Novinha decided to shelf this one.

Taking the elevator down to the crew deck, Novinha entered Life Support. She realized this would be the first time she talked to the assassin since he first arrived. Novinha found the drell situated at the desk, a mug half full of a dark liquid in front of him. Thane's hands were folded, his neck craned to see who it was that entered his makeshift sanctuary.

"Shepard," Thane greeted the Commander, craning his neck to see who it was who entered.

Novinha lingered by the wall, taking in the Spartan style room. The room held a view of the engineering deck, the desk, the cabinet containing Thane's sniper rifles, and the little cot stashed in the corner with a small bag sitting on the cot's edge, which Thane had brought with him. Her eyes settled on Thane. He seemed relaxed, introspective, much like herself. Both individuals had good reasons for it. One faced death, the other overcame it.

"You have a minute, Krios?" Novinha asked. She folded her arms, noting the slightly cooler temperature in Life Support. Goosebumps rose up on her bare arms.

"Yes," Thane's bubbly voice croaked, "We have not yet had a chance to talk." He motioned for her to sit, but she shook her head, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

" A few things we need to address. You illness . . ." Novinha voiced her concern. The sensitivity of the mission could not handle a burden, but she also wanted to make sure he was all right.

"Ah, yes. Do not worry, my condition is not contagious, even between other drell. Nor will it effect the mission," Thane dismissed this worry, waving his hand. He took a sip from his cup.

"Are you ok? Can I ask . . ." Novinha paused awkwardly, not wanting to press the issue, now that the main concern was covered. Now, however, she was curious. Curious why a dying man would be so eager to join a suicide mission. She was curious about many things, in fact, but their time was short before they needed to head out.

Thane responded before Novinha could phrase her question. "Kepral's Syndrome. It's a terminal illness unique to the drell species. We were originally from Rahkana, an arid planet. The hanar discovered us, saving as many as they could from extinction, bringing us to their home world, Kajhe. Kajhe is very humid, mostly water. Some of us have had trouble adapting to the climate, and our lungs cannot take in enough oxygen. Infection sets in, eventually taking over other organs."

Novinha listened thoughtfully. Two years ago, she would have been horrified at the thought of someone slowly suffocating to death. Having gone through that, however, she felt only sadness for his condition. Trying not to let it show, however, she asked one more question. "How long do you have, Thane?"

"Somewhere between eight and twelve months. Don't worry, either we will have completed your mission, or be dead long before I am incapacitated," Thane informed her, in a calm, almost detached manner. This unnerved Novinha. Although she was tempted to question him further, Novinha decided to let it go for now.

"I'm going to have you and Miranda join me for this next recruitment, but before that, here's a message from one of the Salarian's in the Towers. Thought you'd want to know about it." Novinha brought up the message on the mini screen to her omni-tool, and handed it to Thane. Reading the message brought a soft chuckle from the drell, a fond expression spread across his face.

"Thank you, Shepard," Thane handed the omni-tool back to Novinha. "I will be ready when you have need of me."

"Good. We should head out in ten minutes. Meet us at the airlock," Novinha, turned to leave. She felt his eyes watching her as she left. Shrugging this feeling off, she headed to Miranda's private quarters, her thoughts a jumble of Kaidan, the Justicar, and Thane's bleak fate.

. . . . .

Kaidan left Counselor Anderson's office. The e-mail to Novinha was sent, although it did not express as much as he wished. Most of that was better left in person, although a nagging fear haunted him. Was it enough? was it too late? On top of his uncharacteristic apprehension, he had a very awkward conversation ahead of him. Kaidan took a transport car to the Darkstar lounge, where he told Lillian to meet him. A bit of mental preparation was all this needed. The car arrived, and Kaidan entered the bar, seeking the doctor out . . .


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry if the parts with Lillian are rushed. I loathed writing her, for obvious reasons :)

The Citadel's Zakera Ward housed the Dark Star Lounge. Ironically, this is bar where Kaidan and Lillian first met. She was an Alliance medic, her and her unit on shore leave. After Kaidan's promotion to Lt. Commander, a few buddies, two of whom served under Shepard aboard the Normandy one year prior, took him out for drinks after the ceremony. Their way of watching out for him and celebrating this new milestone in Kaidan's military career, was to set him up with this woman. Like Kaidan, Dr. Lillian Phelps was Alliance, came from a military family. Both individuals made work their life, both biotics, both Canadian and both quiet, reserved. They were incredibly similar in temperament, excepting where Kaidan grew passionate, usually displayed by a rare outburst, Lillian would give in, or give up. She was very supine in disagreements with people. Their relationship had been a good way to transition from a year of living like a dead man to one who was finally taking steps to move on, but that was just it. She was a transitory relationship.

Meeting Novinha caused Kaidan to do many things before he never would have prior. Not just mutinying an Alliance vessel in pursuit of a deranged Turian with a Reaper ship. Not just getting involved romantically with his CO. She took him outside of himself, outside of his marine persona, and became a person. A Man. Like he told her that night, she always made him feel, well, human.

_"Another week of geth freighter clean-ups, I'll bet. As soon as we get the chance, We'd better head back to Ilos, so Liara can retrieve the rest of that data from Vigil. Perhaps from there we can learn more about how the Citadel signals to the Reapers and their vanguards--" Novinha sat cross-legged on her bunk, the datapad in hand, casually resting on her knee. Casual. Protocol had been forgotten since their weekend back on Earth. At least, behind the closed doors of the Captain's Cabin. Kaidan massaged her shoulders, working his thumbs into the kinks along her back._

_ "That is, if they ever free us from lean-up duty," Kaidan reminded her. Novinha turned her head, to catch his eye, smiling crookedly, in her way._

_ "What makes you say that? I put the request in, they will approve it within a few days. Finding out more about the Reapers and the Protheans will have to take precedent soon," Novinha reminded him of her request. Three weeks wasted on investigation both Shepard and Kaidan thought were absolutely necessary. However, the state of the Alliance and the Counsel were such a mess, every bit of manpower was summoned for defense, a few Spectres, including Shepard and her crew were finishing off the remaining geth stragglers who have not yet retreated behind the Perseus Veil._

_ "Novinha, they may not necessarily see it that way. As it is, the Council seemed . . . skeptical to begin with," Kaidan replied, "I'm just wary . . ."_

_ "You're too cautious. The Turian Counsellor can be skeptical all he wants. Between Anderson and the other two, I'm sure it's more than enough to counterbalance what he refuses to see. Tell you what," Novinha twisted around, facing Kaidan, gripping his shoulders. "I bet you, the approval will come tomorrow. It's been three days, long overdue response, if you ask me." Novinha smirked, softly kissing him on the lips. He was still not used to this playful mood, always catching him off guard when she turned it on._

_ "You're on," he said, "What's at stake here, are we betting sexual favors, or--?"_

_ "No," a mischievous smile crept over Novinha's lips. "If I get a denial, then I'll let you drive the Mako, from now on on."_

_ This surprised Kaidan. "That serious, huh? Ok, no problem."_

_ "Not so fast, Kaidan," Novinha continued, "If I get approved, you have to wear Phoenix Armor. For an entire week."_

_ "You're on, Novie," Kaidan chuckled, "There's no way you'll be getting an approval tomorrow anyway."_

Kaidan smiled sadly back on the memory. He hated when Shepard was right. Hated it even more when the approval came promptly the following morning. Most of all, he hated the events of that afternoon, the destruction, and the loss, and the foolish Phoenix Armor he had worn.

At least Shepard expressed that mind of her own. Not quite as much could be said about Lillian. The reason he was here at the Dark Star Lounge.

Approaching the bar, he pulled out his credit chit, proceeded to order a drink. Kaidan caught Lillian out of the corner of his eye, sitting at a table with a few crew members. They were laughing, relaxed, despite the recent events. It was probably a good thing, to relax and leave the stress of the mission on Horizon behind, and Kaidan could respect them for it. He, however dealt with these things best alone, in his own thoughts.

Lillian rose from her place among the small group, and headed over towards Kaidan. She smiled warmly, happy that they were alone, and off-duty together. She honestly did not expect an invitation out from him, especially not after he saw Shepard. Anticipating this meeting made her nervous at first, but the fact that they were both in the Dark Star Lounge, where they first met, had to have been intentional on Kaidan's part, had it not? Lillian assumed that meant good news, whereas Kaidan meant to bring her somewhere that was familiar and convenient.

Kaidan nodded towards a vacant table in the back. Lillian walked beside him; drink in hand from the other table. They took their seats, not breaking the silence for a few minutes.

The happy, lights bouncing off the walls and ceilings, coupled with the excessively loud music felt at odds with the moment at hand. Before Lillian was not the same Kaidan Alenko from last shore leave. There would be no flirty, fun casual conversation tonight. She knew the business-like expression in Kaidan's eyes, and steeled herself as best she could.

"Kaidan, is everything alright?"

Kaidan inhaled sharply, Lillian sipped from her drink. "Lil, I want to clear the air a bit. We've gotten to know each other pretty well, perhaps more than we should have." Kaidan paused, slowly stirring his drink.

Lillian remained silent, briefly reflecting their one night together, and realizing it had meant nothing. She bit her lip, watching him play with his drink, and waited for him to continue.

"I, uh, want you to know that we should keep our relationship strictly professional, off-duty as well," Kaidan looked into her eyes, gauging her reaction.

Lillian did not react for a few seconds, except to blink rapidly. Tucking a short strand of dark hair behind her ears, she said, "I figured as much, Kaidan. It's Shepard, isn't it?" She quickly screwed up her face, to prevent the onset of tears, much to Kaidan's relief. She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

Lillian rose, without another word and left the lounge. Kaidan remained where he sat, his face in his hands, and feeling like a jerk, his beverage untouched. A few minutes later, he followed suit, heading back to the Alliance HQ on the Citadel.

* * *

Back in her private quarters, ready to turn in for the night, Novinha couldn't stop thinking about the e-mail, titled "About Horizon . . ." She sat down at the desk, starting at the screen, staring at both words in the title, remembering Kaidan's virtual slap across her face. His prematurely aged skin worsened the anger in his eyes. Kaidan looked older that his 35 years. Novinha skipped to the earlier part of that horrible greeting, reliving his warm, familiar hug. As if is just happened, she shivered, willing her mind to return to the present. It wasn't fair. Every detail of her circumstances, her 'recovery' came at a price she wasn't willing to pay. Yet, there was no one else. She briefly entertained the idea of telling The Illusive Man to go fuck himself, and walking off on the job. What would he do? What could he do? She would have the freedom to return to the Alliance.

At once she dismissed these thoughts. Thinking this way would get her nowhere. Novinha tapped the screen, opening the message. It was an apology from Kaidan, explaining why he reacted the way he did. The message also told of a doctor, he met on the Citadel, a relationship that didn't go anywhere. _He thinks telling me this helps, that he _tried_ to move on, but couldn't? Men. _ Novinha re-read the last several lines of the message:_ Watch yourself. When things settle down, maybe, I don't know. Just take care._

Novinha remembered Kaidan's hesitancy to initiate their relationship two years ago. She remembered his words, "I always try to leave a way out." Here he was, once again doing just that. If Shepard and her crew didn't end up surviving the mission, that would be his only way out. Otherwise, she decided, he would have to face her again, eventually. And she would need to face him.


	7. Wrapping Things Up

A/N: This went in an even stranger direction than I had intended. Oh well, hope you enjoy. The next chapter will be very fun ;p

_Anderson: What's the latest?_

_Kaidan: Intel reports relate that Shepard now has a Justicar in her crew. The Normandy SR-2's current whereabouts are in the Vahallan Threshold Cluster, boarding the Migrant Fleet._

_Anderson: A Justicar?_

_Kaidan: Not anymore strange than a drell assassin, the biotic psychopath or Zaeed Massani, sir._

_Anderson: True. Shepard always has done things outside of the box._

_Kaidan: Sir, what exactly are we doing with all of this intel? I get the feeling this is about more than keeping tabs on Cerberus._

_Anderson: We have decided to keep tabs on Shepard, not Cerberus. At some point, we will need her to return under Alliance authority, one way ore another._

_Kaidan: Sir?_

_Anderson: This comes from above. For now, we just keep tabs on her activities and location. If she returns to the Alliance willingly, we won't have to apprehend her. If not, we won't give her a choice._

_Kaidan: I don't like the sound of this at all, sir._

_Anderson: Neither do I, Alenko, but it's not my call._

_Kaidan: I need to go . . . get some air._

* * *

The Alerei was recovered. Shepard, Thane and Tali headed towards the hearing which had begun without them. A startled Admiralty board halted the proceeding.

"Shepard, " Admiral Zaal Koris said in surprise, "I- we didn't expect-"

"It takes more than a few geth to slow me down." Novinha Shepard cut in, standing in front of Tali, facing off the Admiralty board. "I helped Tali take back the Alerei. I certainly hope this proves her loyalty to the Quarian people." She took a step back, silently nodding towards Tali, who meekly stood there, nervously anticipating the next words from the Conclave.

"Tali's loyalty was never in question, only her judgment," Admiral Zaal Koris stated lightly. With a slight, disbelieving shake of the head, Admiral Shala'Raan took the floor.

"This session will resume. Did Tali Zorah find any evidence aboard the Alerei to clear her name?" Admiral Shala looked expectantly at Novinha, who turned to Tali, waiting for her to respond. Tali only looked back into the Commander's eyes. "Shepard, please . . ." she begged.

Realizing the Admiralty expected her to respond for Tali, Novinha nodded in agreement to Tali's plea.

"If this about Tali's judgment, as you say, you don't need any evidence. Her actions recovering the Alarei, hell, even helping with the geth attack on the Citadel should be more than enough for you to be convinced of Tali's judgment," Novinha spat these words, "as well as her loyalty to the Quarian people. C'mon, Tali, we're done here," Novinha turned as if to leave, a show rivaling the ridiculous act the Quarian legal session already was. Exasperated, fervent murmuring rippled through the crowd and among the Admirals. Each Quarian on the Board input a deciding vote on their omni-tools, after a moment of commentary and discussion.

The votes were swiftly placed and counted. Reading the data of her omni-tool Admiral Shala announced the happy news, "The Admiralty Board has found insufficient evidence. Tali Zorah vas Normand is cleared of all charges of treason." Shepard could almost hear a smile in the older Quarian's voice. Tali breathed a strained sigh of relief from where she stood. She thanked Shepard, remaining a few brief moments to say her good-byes to her family and friends, before returning to the Normandy.

*********

The IFF device was almost set for a test run. The geth ally, Legion, Novinha had acquired on the derelict Reaper, also had a favor to ask. Novinha never expected in her wildest dreams she would have a civilized conversation with a geth. Nor, did she ever dream she would be doing a favor for a geth, in order to ensure his (her? Its?) loyalty. Legion, Thane and Novinha had returned from the geth collective, after reprogramming the group of heretics. The choice was a difficult one, but in the end, as with everyone else's favors, she let it up to them to decide.

The band of members Novinha gathered for this mission all gathered in the shuttle, landing once more on Omega, while EDI and Joker gave the IFF device it's test run around the system. The last time they were on Omega, Samara had hunted down her daughter, and finally succeeded in killing her. Novinha settled between Garrus and Thane surveyed each one. Miranda, initially the epitome of Ice Queen, had softened, even making contact with her sister, for the first time. Jacob, no longer holding everyone at arms length, had made peace with his past. Mordin, the brilliant scientist, had reevaluated the morality behind effects of the genophage, and confronted a colleague from his past. Kasumi, the elusive art thief, acquired her gray-box filled with her dead lover's memories. Zaeed made peace with an old grudge. Garrus, her old friend, had dealt with the turian who betrayed his squad on Omega. Thane had reunited with his son, in one of the most heart-rending ways Novinha had ever seen. Tali survived the Quarian justice system. Legion had dealt with the heretical geth. Jack had faced the demons of her past, not something fully dealt with that day, but then, none of her crew dealt with things fully when it was their turn. They all still lugged around baggage, but they also were each fully committed to the cause.

Some of the squad members thought Shepard's choice of a pit stop before hitting the Omega-4 relay was odd. It was a dark, dangerous, unpleasant sort of place. The odd cluster broke up into smaller groups and pairs, spending what very well could be their last relaxed evening. There would be a lot of alcohol involved. Luckily, they went in on Cerberus' tab.

_**Normandy SR- II Report Update **__The file title flashed along Kaidan's inbox, among the other intel reports forwarded to him. Almost too eagerly, he pressed on the hypertext first, brining up Novinha's current location. The ship made a brief stop at Omega, before heading towards the Fathar system. It looked as if the Normandy SR-II had made contact with a Collector ship, before slowly heading back towards Omega. What Kaidan read in the review, he found odd. He knew Shepard and Cerberus were hunting the Collectors. The exchange, taking place in a remote location was odd, but it didn't seem hostile. Perhaps the report wasn't complete or was missing information. At least he knew where she was. However, knowing where she was did not help the mounting fear Kaidan had for her well-being. Only one thing would fix that. Scrolling through the other reports, Kaidan happened upon an untitled message from an encrypted location. After talking with decoding the location, Kaidan decided the fun was over, and decided to read it. He wasn't in the mood for hacking anyway this night. Astounding. The message contained a letter from Novinha. _

* * *

Novinha felt horrible when they returned from the brief night of relaxation. She thought it had been a good idea, and usually did not doubt herself. Her judgment had been slipping though. In the past month or so, much had been accomplished, but there had also been a few mistakes. During the absence of the squad, Joker and EDI tested the IFF, and were attacked by the Collectors, capturing the entire crew, with the exception of Joker. Enough was enough. After having a moment to collect herself, Novinha gave the order to head straight for the Omega-4 relay. The Collectors had captured entire human colonies. They had killed her once. They now made the mistake of striking close to home a third time. Nobody was allowed to fuck with the people she was responsible for. She vowed never to let that happen again after Akuze. They headed for the relay, not just to strike at the Collector home, but to get back her crew. This was it.

_Kaidan opened up the message. He read:_

_ Kaidan. _

_ Words cannot describe how Horizon had left me. Although I am sure it cannot have been any easier for, either, let's just leave that in the past. Tonight, I am leading an assault on the Collector homeworld. There is a very good chance none of us will return. _

_ We know that the Collectors are working for the Reapers. I have forwarded as much information as possible to the Alliance. Attached to this message should be some information recently discovered on a derelict Reaper ship. I hope you can do whatever it takes to see that the Council takes the necessary steps to defend Earth, and the galaxy. It seems very likely that the Reapers are assembling to make a return. Soon._

_ Kaidan, I wanted you to know this before we left. I love you. If I should fail to return, you're the only one I can trust to see to I that this thing is finished._

_Kaidan checked upon the attached files. Corrupted. He didn't expect much different, since every message sent and received from that ship, was screened by Cerberus, or perhaps the Illusive Man. He forwarded the files to his intel team, rather than talking with the job himself. _

_So, she really is going to do it, Kaidan thought. Despite the tightening in his chest, the fear rising, somewhere in his mind, he knew if the woman whop could come back from the dead wanted to fly into the sun, she would come out alright._


End file.
